Comparing Myself Now and the Past

Well, well.. where should I start..

I feel kind of bad for not having blogged for such a long time. I feel that I should be at least somewhat documenting my own life, because if I don't, I would probably forget it. But maybe I have changed..

- I am no longer obsessed with anything. Maybe this is an age thing. I simply am.. less hyper than I used to be. I can get excited but it goes away pretty fast usually.
- I am less into games as I used to be. This is also probably a time thing. The "best" "free" MMORPGs simply suck and I don't want to spend a lot of money on games.. I also want to expand myself and not just focus on games
- my music tastes have been more varied than ever. This is probably because I've found more and more music.

My MBTI

Introversion - increased a little. This is probably because over time, time has grown in value to me, and socialising for the sake of socialising isn't that important to me. However I have also made more friends and been out more. But that isn't actually extroversion, more like the strong intuition in work. It is not sensing because I don't go to social meetings to appease my five senses. I merely just hope to learn from experience.

Intuition - increased a lot. It used to be thirty something, now it is 80 something. Again I contribute it to me actively exploring things rather than look too much into details. My impatience seems to have increased over time. My experience is like water.. wanting to go everywhere asap. I want to explore movies, music, Youtube..

Thinking - increased from thirty something to about 50. I guess over time I value logic more and more. I think it may have helped that I have met some very emotional and illogical people in my life who I lack respect for and I would not want to be like them. A failed relationship and probably just social things in general also probably led me to not emotionally dwell on or get too attached to things. When I first took the test when I was 15 or something, I got 1 thinking. I suppose I am probably just a more stable person now than previously. I used to be more attached to people but now I'm probably just given up.. Hardly anyone has enough time for me anyways.. everyone's doing their own thing.

Judging - probably increased from 10ish to 30ish. This is probably because I have sought to define things in my own view more and more and could care less what others think. However I still don't fold my clothes, things can be cluttered/disorganised etc. So overall not too much change.

Religious

I used to be a Catholic Christian who wasn't too much into the whole community thing (never was). I now am an Atheist Agnostic/Agnostic Atheist who still isn't too much into community things. Supernatural things are now irrelevant to my life. If I were to be a servant of a deity, it would probably be logic.

Gender identity, clothing, blah blah

I used to not really care about my gender identity, as long as I'm not mistaken for a guy. I've always seen myself as a female but didn't care much about societal norms. I still am similar. But the way I present myself has changed still. I suppose I am more experimental now than before. Before I just wore whatever had been bought for me that I found ok. Now I buy my own clothes and even cosmetics. And yes, that's right. I own makeup. I don't really wear it outside private though. I tend to use it for my own private fun. I wear suit or suit-like jackets. I used to have a disdain/see pointlessness for side fringes and partings but now for some reason I don't really care, in fact I have changed my parting to be on the left side of my head and I am currently growing out my straight fringe because I wonder if I could pull off a side fringe (which doesn't cover my eyes). I don't mind wearing slightly frilly things with puffy shoulders. Just as long as I don't look fat in it lol. I used to dislike wearing jeans because they weren't as comfortable as other pants. But now I wear them because they look good, and are still reasonably comfortable (I don't know where they were bought in China, but mine are comfortable in texture) except just tightish. But they are still flexible and just wrap around my legs so they don't look entirely big lol.

Sexuality

I'm certain that I am straight. Straight as in prefer guys over girls. So the question of whether or not I am attracted to females at all have been quite irrelevant. It's sort of like "I know I prefer men over women, and I'm not one to muck around, so why bother trying to pin myself down in this issue". Why should I date a woman when my attention would keep shifting to men? If anything else, I'd feel like I'm missing out on what I REALLY want. If I had to answer yes or no to the "Am I sexually attracted to females" question, I'd say probably no, because I have negligible interest in seeing women. I suppose I have opened myself more in sexual topics. I largely attribute this to the past relationship, and most likely the fact that I'm an adult now. So there is less feeling of taboo when discussing these things.

Family relationships

My parents are less bossy then they used to be, which is good. I now buy my own things. My parents are less anal about me going out, which is also good. Otherwise.. not much.. I guess my bro's been a ruder/careless person in general, but he's grown to be more introverted which is good.. he doesn't intrude on my life much. My youngest aunt, whose son I teach in piano has kind of treated me like an adult.. or at least talked to me like one. For example in referring to my mum, she doesn't say "you mum" but rather "(My mum's name) big sister)" which is how she does it when talking to the adults of the family. My grandma is ok I guess. My grandpa still treats me like a kid.

Friends..

I suppose the fact that I don't see my high school classmates is a big factor in me losing contact with them. For some reason no one was really that interested in or attached to me as a person in my high school. People I thought were my friends had distanced themselves from me. So really, I don't have that many high school friends, only a lot of good acquaintances. I guess such is the same deal in general. I don't have that many close friends since everyone's so busy with their own lives that it's hard to find the time to talk about things with them. I just have a lot of good acquaintances. I guess it's also hard for me to fully connect with people (as it always have been).

Movies

I used to be into animations more but now I think my tastes have.. matured? It's not to say that I dislike animations, it's more like that they don't excite me as much as they used to. I'm more into live-action now.

TV

Never was tooo much into TV. I used to watch The Biggest Loser and Masterchef. But now I simply don't watch TV. I watch assorted videos on Youtube.

Music

I used to listen to more emo (think Evanescence)/rock (think Breaking Benjamin)/energised (think Avril Lavigne) things but now I don't really. I listen to more happy (not because I am more happy, but because it is less reminding of the bad things) or chill things now. Of course, I still wouldn't mind some energised things, esp when I aim to stay awake. In terms of my own music performance, I am less rushy and more chill than I used to be. But I don't really play much music nowadays. I'd rather listen to others performing.

School

Well, to be honest, I don't really enjoy uni. Uni is a lot harder for me than high school. I really do envy the people who still find uni easy. But I didn't enjoy high school that much either. I simply don't like being forced to study x and y. Nonetheless, uni and high school are pretty different, and I don't really want to go back to high school. But I also do want to graduate from uni.

Financial

Financially I am better off now than I was in high school, especially considering that my parents still pay me and I have my piano teaching job. However my income used to be negative as a uni student before I got the job. I mostly blame it on food and transport. But I am still a cheapo.

Games

I simply don't play big and open games anymore. Not seriously anyway. I don't have enough motivation/effort/time.

My mannerisms

I guess over time I've acted more and more "mature". I guess it's because I just don't have as much energy as I used to. There are some mannerisms in speech that I have picked up from certain people, and some by myself.

Philosophy

I used to be more into philosophy and debates and all that but it seems that I could care less nowadays. I guess I just cbf.

Food

Over time my diet has grown to be more healthy to the point where butter/oil/fat or too much sugar can actually make me physically sick. My tastebuds seem to have grown a liking for smoked salmon and kimchi, to which I previously did not like. I still dislike the taste of alcohol (unless it's heavily diluted with something sweet, which would be ok) and don't really like coffee (although a sprinkle is ok).