I need to say

I'm so pissed off at someone atm. I am actually pissed off at someone not in my family.

Need... to... express... anger...

I like you but I also hate you! So much!

It is ironic how the passing of the 4u assessment makes my day yet the one who usually makes my day breaks my day to the point where my desire for sleep is nullified by anger.

I just wanna slap you in the face. And walk away. And not look back.

And ffs, I have orchestra tomorrow. You've already stolen enough hours of sleep from me. You waste my time which I cannot get back and it's painful talking to you cos I know I'm not gonna even live up to your expectations so what's the point.

Yet I can't seem to resist. Because I'm so naive LIKE YOU. I've become a bit LIKE YOU. WHY. I don't want to be LIKE YOU. You shallow bastard, I'm like you enough, why should I give into you? You make me feel out of control but at the same time I like it. My emotions and brain fight because of you. I have enough fighting to do already. So please gtfo of my life.

But none of this I can say to you. In fact, I can't do anything. Like an AIDS virus, you have disabled me.

And that's why I hate you even more. Bittersweet chocolate, you ain't no good for former chocoholics like me, you understand? I don't want no more relapses.

Why did I ever eat chocolate. Ah yeah, I didn't even know what you tasted like. In fact, I always forget how you taste like, because when I'm dazed when you're in my system. And that's why I want more.

Curiosity is killing the cat. Where's the vet.

Go to rehab, you say. BUT I REFUSE TO GO TO REHAB. *cries* I refuse to go to rehab! *cries some more* rehab would be the death of me! Technically I won't, but I feel like I'm gonna die without you.

Look what you did to me. You make me crazy.

Three things that make me crazy
-my family
-hsc
-you

I aim to be free, instead I am locked to the target in your gun. You're a blind hunter who will hunt me down, feel me with your hands cus you have no fricking eyes, only to throw me away because I don't feel good enough. I hate people like you and want to hunt you down. With my teeth.

I've already told you a way I can kill you. You said it would hurt a lot. Damn right. Oh man... oh yes.... I want that. I'm not sure which one turns me on more now, hurting you, or loving you...