So How Were Your Exams?

Um... hopefully okay??

2U - I thought it was okay until I did the 3U one, after which I thought it was comparatively easy. Mark estimate - dunno. Hopefully 90 something?

3U - intense. Felt like the exam writer wanted to rip me to pieces and I skipped question 2b cos my mind totally blanked out because it was a min/max problem incorporating distance into speed and cost - three variables + not much time = not bothered. The max mark I will get is 90, so I think I'm going to get low 80s or something.

Bio - weird. I don't get why the hell would a question like "describe the environment of a named organism with reference to temperature" be 4 marks?? Something's really screwed up there. A little harder than I expected, but I'm still alive. I studied all assessable bio in the space of two periods on the day (lol so last minute) so thank god not much content was assessable... otherwise I would prolly be in trouble but then bio won't count in the end

Chem - thank god they didn't ask me about batteries... I know that I've lost a mark already with the identifying what's being reduced (I wasn't specific enough, I just said "lead")... the question was so weird, there were like 2 different types of lead being oxidised... ???

Physics - I'm really surprised that there were NO questions asking for recounting of pracs, that the last page was so easy it was weird "What type of transformer is this?" well DUH it's a step-down transformer, only people who don't do physics would fail that. The question about calculating the gradient of the slope of the graph, and using it to calculate the distance between the two conductors was so "wtf?". I have never encountered that type of question before, I swear that's not really part of the syllabus. And it's THREE BLOODY MARKS. That I know I have lost of course. 5%

4U - Not as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I was gonna die and literally fail. But I think I'll get 70 something, 60 something if unlucky. Again, the last question was "wtf". "using the result from the previous question, find the value of cos-something times cos-something times cos-something" etc. I just typed it into my calculator and wrote down the answer. A free mark! Better than nothing right? =\

You know what. My mum just came in and she was like "you're playing".

What, is that a bad thing or a good thing, huh? You got a problem with me doing something I want to do?? My concept of free time has been destroyed by this school shit. You think it's funny or something?? Stfu and gtfo. HOW DARE YOU SPOIL MY NON-WORK TIME, the only time I have! You make me so angry (at you) and sad (self pity perhaps). I have had no bloody free time for as long as I can remember, my exams have just finished, I'm so bloody tired, and I just want to do something I want to do that I haven't had the time to do for ages! You bloody non-understanding bitch. Can't you see I'm desperate??? I'm not even playing games or facebook ffs. Can't you at least accept that I'm human just like you and humans need some kind of space once in a while?

Well anyways um... I don't know what to do. As I have said, the concept of hobbies has been destroyed for me... I've lost all motivation for gaming... games aren't fun anymore for me... everything that's not "schoolwork" feels like procrastination/a waste of time... including naps... I refuse to go shopping (even if there are discounts), travelling or even go to social gatherings... I rejected the idea of a haircut appointment in the exam week even though I know in the next two months my hair would look fugly, and I would procrastinate anyway... I refuse to go anywhere that's not tutoring, school or home (with the exception of Westfield at lunch cos my school canteen sucks, but still)...

I hope I'm not like that for life.

I have a feeling that when I finish the HSC, I'm going to be very confused and disoriented regardless of the marks I will get. Because I know I am so short-sighted in terms of direction in life. All I think about is HSC and I can't help it. It's like, I'm a mountain range climber and I only care about the first mountain.

But I will get there and see some more things. That's the point of life, right?