Introvertism and Me

Icey Dan1: What do you think makes your blog become so popular?

Vaskor: Its openness and also attitude? As you know, I am always glad to feature other blogs, and I try to be positive in my posts as much as I can.

“Promoting your blog – Read comment, message and link to other player’s blogs. This can help you get noticed. Use screenshots if you can.”

After watching silentc0re’s youtube video on runescape blogging, I came to the conclusion that it is true after all that blogs tend to be more popular if they are positive and follow the guidelines mentioned in the video. The video indeed does give good advice.

But I got to tell you, although my blog is not a runescape one, I frankly don’t care about who reads my blog as long as it’s not my family, or stalkers. I don’t care about popularity because I don’t see the need to. I don’t really care about attracting people’s attention, again because I don’t see the need to. My purpose of this blog is to record me through time. A bit like in the “Noah takes pictures of himself everyday for 6 years” video, but more detailed, and in writing. And not everyday… but that’s beside the point.

It seems like society encourage people to be extroverted, particularly stemming from America. In American reality TV shows I always notice how many times they say “like” and “oh my god” in the typical American accent. It’s funny. Seriously, if you just count the times they say it. Sorry Americans, but it’s true.

“Oh my god, she was like, right in front of me, and I was like, oh my god”

Wtf? Anyways people in our society (my society, I don’t know about others) seem to encourage people to be leaders. For example prefects.

“it is a great privilege in our school to hold the role of prefect”

The role of prefect is presented as… something which everyone should try out. That’s not fair for the people who are introverted like me. I don’t know about you, but I feel pressured to be a leader. I’ve been influenced by this… way of presenting leaders… which made me try out for peer support leader, etc. It’s like war propaganda encouraging people to join in the Vietnam War. Okay, well I exaggerated a bit. But society seems to look on introvertism as a weakness.

Why do you do that?? We are who we are! Introverts like me cannot help but to be a little bit self-conscious and “relatively conservative”! Why should we conform to your standards of presentation? Why must you force us to do horrible impromptu speeches and debates whether we like it or not? Why should extrovertism be encouraged?

You say: because it benefits society. If nobody spoke up, then we would be a dead society.

You’re wrong. There will always be people speaking up. You just let the extroverts do their jobs. By the way, you stereotype introverts too much. Look at me. I speak for myself. I ask questions in class, and I do enjoy talking to friends. I HAVE A BLOG IN WHICH I RANT. I do things like extroverts, I do “normal” things like argue with parents and procrastinate, but it’s only that I am self-conscious. I like peace. I don’t like people jabbering on about bullshit. I don’t see the need to socialise when you don’t need to. I think more than I talk. That’s what makes me an introvert.

I’m not saying that extrovertism is bad by the way, it’s just that I find it pretty annoying that there seems to be a general assumption that introverts are socially weak. While it can be true, it doesn’t necessarily mean that. Introvertism reflects your preference. It is not a handicap because I believe what you lose in social, you make up in thinking.

Which brings me to my personality.

I’ve always wondered what my personality is, and why the heck can’t I find many people like me. I still don’t know precisely, to be honest.

I know that I am primarily introverted. There is no doubt about that. You just see me in group situations and you can tell straight away.

But people, even the smartest ones, make assumptions about me. Some people assume, because I am “relatively quite conservative”, that I am a good girl who adheres to rules, don’t swear much and gets good marks. That is so incorrect lol. Ima rebel!!! Hehe. Just ask my mum.

But I’m not as rebellious as some other people. I don’t and am determined to never smoke, get drunk, do illegal drugs, crime and shit like that. Only stupid people do that.

Person: I want to get drunk someday.

Me: Huh?

Person: don’t you?

Me: No… why the hell would you do that?

Person: Cos it’ll be fun!

Me: … (wtf noob)

Person: I want to see what it’s like to be drunk

Me: Uhh… I like being sober and in control of myself thanks…

Person: This… is weed.

Me: > . > (has an urge to tell him to go away)

I on the other hand, am not that screwed up and no peer pressure will make me do things like that. I don’t even want to associate with people like that. One person smoking in the house is enough to piss me off to the point where I want to kick them out cos it stinks so shit. What a turn-off.

I don’t know what I want to be, but I know what I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be a drug addict robber/prostitute with scars everywhere. I don’t want to be a slut with about 6 different types of STDS and multiple abortions. I don’t want to be a stinky old wrinkly smoker with tar-soaked lungs in hospital. I don’t want to be a filthy alcoholic beggar lying in the gutter, with matted hair. Just no thanks. I don’t even want to get into any of it.

Some people assume from the emo things that I say on this blog, that I am depressed. That’s not correct. I laugh a lot and am amused by many things in life. But I rant too!

Some people see me in person and think I’m a happy person cos I laugh a lot and apparently I’m quite funny. Haha, they haven’t seen me at home… actually most of the time at home I get quite pissed off. I get annoyed easily.

There’s always people who assume that I am a total nerd. When I turn up in a slightly better-looking outfit than normal, they are surprised.

Person: Wow, Jess is wearing makeup!!!!!!

or

Person: Hey, you’re all dressed up today!

Me: Yeah…

Lol, so awkward. Just because I’m not a showoff like most fashion chicks are, doesn’t mean I don’t like dressing up at times ok! I dress in what I feel like dressing up in, and my feelings fluctuate.

My behaviour is based on the situation, just like yours would. Unless you’re psycho. I’m not psycho… I think.

Friend 1: You don't care what people think... You walk at your own pace... You're like a punk with crazy hair and clothes, except... you don't wear crazy hair and clothes... :)

Friend: You're quite conservative... but then you don't care what other people think... so I don't know.

Although I am more inclined to introvertism, I am flexible.

Omg The Simpsons is on. I have not watched it for at least two months.